K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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