Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
