Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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