...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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