EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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