His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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