How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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