I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
