i barfeds in our rink
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
