i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
