11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize