Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
