Nicole vs. Life
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
