8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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