why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
