Duck Duck Cougar?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
