I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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