just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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