Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They took my balls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
