If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
