he was CRYING into my vagina
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize