My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
