He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
