Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
