i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
