Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
