So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
