just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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