its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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