So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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