Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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