Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
