I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
