I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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