By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
