There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
