A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she told me i tasted like america
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
