I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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