"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize