I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
