What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize