We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
