did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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