You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
