His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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