dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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