Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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