so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
