Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
nutella sex= disaster
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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