I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize