life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
