Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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