I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
