i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
