you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
