It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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