dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
this boner is exhausting
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
