i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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