mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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