Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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