I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
