Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
