Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
