They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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