And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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