So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
